There is a hot discussion on the Internet——
Can “sex” and “love” be
separated? If we have sex without love, we are happy and not responsible?
We all know that the pace of modern life is
very fast, but is this kind of fast food culture feasible? Psychologically, is
there a problem?
It is found in psychology whether sex and
love can be separated
Some women have sex with a man for the
first time and feel that they want to marry each other for a lifetime. In fact,
this is a kind of cognitive dissonance, materializing oneself, exchanging sex
for a marriage.
Had sexual relations, but get along to find
that the feelings are not in place, still thinking “I gave him the most
important first time, if I broke up, then what would I become?” this is
not a good relationship.
A really smart woman can have a
relationship because she likes it, or she can walk away when she finds out that
both sides are not suitable. And not because of the loss, they will force
themselves to stay in a difficult relationship, constantly deepen their sense
of insecurity and discomfort.
Social liberators tend to be energetic, like to flirt, and support the theory
of sexual separation
American psychologist Jeff has studied the
differences in people’s social sexual behavior. People who have sex in a
relationship full of loyalty and intimacy have a “conservative”
sexual orientation, while those who are willing to have sex without pursuing
intimacy and loyalty have an “open” sexual behavior index.
Compared with those with conservative
sexual orientation, people with open sexual orientation are more likely to seek
sexual behavior outside their partners, have more sexual partners in their
lifetime, and are more likely to cheat their lovers.
The real instinct of love is affinity, not sex
Weitos, a famous German behaviorist, thinks
that the instinct of love is affinity, which is differentiated from maternal
and paternal instincts.
Intimacy makes people feel comfortable, so
that men and women produce hormones, trigger climax, and strengthen the
concentration of love.
In the relationship, 70% of women can’t
reach climax through sexual intercourse, but they are still willing to do it.
Because they like the feeling of intimacy
rather than the climax itself, in this process, they will produce a kind of
“oxytocin” which is conducive to the birth of children.
The perfect integration of sex and love can lead to real happiness
Sex and love are independent and influence
Just think about it. When you have sex,
when your body feels happy, you will naturally have a feeling of love. If you
still have an idea: “I don’t love this person, we are just one night
stand, we have no feelings between us”. Isn’t it hard to cut off the
physical and psychological channels?
At this point, your mind will be confused.
When a person’s physical and psychological
feelings can be unified, the talent is balanced. If one is absent from the
other, balance becomes delusion.
The separation of the two is the separation
of body and mind, which brings not the freedom of soul, but the self treatment
The real difficulty of sex is that it
requires communication between both sides, which requires emotion as the basis.
In the long-term intimate relationship, sex
represents a kind of healthy interdependence, which can meet the demands of
both partners for intimacy.
When the passion of sex recedes, the transformation
from love to kinship makes two people dependent and old, which is the most