“Building relationships from scratch” is the main reason for most of the current interpersonal problems, because we seldom learn how to make friends when we are young.
Since childhood, we have made friends simply and directly: If you go to school, some students will become your friends; if you go to the interest class (non compulsory), play ball games and go out to play, you will naturally have friends who will become your friends. A lot of times you don’t understand how you became friends.
In fact, the premise of becoming friends is that you should become acquaintances. When you were a child, almost all the people you knew most were classmates in the same school and learning the same courses. From morning to noon, from afternoon to evening, the most common people you see are classmates. You have the same education and have similar family background. The most important thing is that you were born and lived in the same city for many years. You are familiar with everything the other party is familiar with. Under such circumstances, you can generally become good friends.
But when you are an adult, or when you go out of your school, out of your city, or when you meet someone who is very different from your life background, whether you have interests, whether your lifestyle and interests are similar, and so on, these become the basis for us to make friends. This society is very complicated. Maybe we can’t even do the most basic kindness to others.
Now the interpersonal relationship is becoming more and more difficult, because the differences between people are becoming more and more prominent, and new big consensus has yet to be developed, so we can only seek consensus on a small scale.